Monday, May 01, 2006

"KISS"na mana hai

“To all those love birds, kissing in public has just gotten 10 times more expensive in India's capital”

This is what an article in rediff says. The moral police have struck. Yesterday Chennai and today the capital of India.Its just a matter of time before the entire country gets a moral boost.They say kissing in public is an offence. What prompted the increase in the fine? The story is something like this.

Note:: Through out the post we will use the word “activity” for “kissing”.( God I am so shy to even type the word kiss so many times and how do these Casanovas manage to actually indulge in the activity in the public. I got to take some lessons from them)


The day before yesterday :

People indulged in the activity secretively. They made sure no one knew about their activity.

Yesterday :

India started shining ( read “westernizing”). People have become bold enough to come out into the public and do the activity in a fit to mimic the westerners. In a way if not the country at least the citizens were “developing”. The authorities could not stomach this. They some how wanted to curb this development (which they have been successfully doing for the past 5 and a half decades). So they came up with this plan of imposing a fine of Rs 50 on the hapless couples who indulged in the activity in public places because they could not do the same at their homes owing to India’s rich and varied heritage (as it is said in the pledge). Thus the authorities were successful, to some extent, to remind the youth of India’s culture which is getting tarnished just because some couples indulge in the activity in the public. Recently Mallika Sherawat* joined the authorities in salvaging the Indian culture. Wondering how? She became a celebrated part of the tinsel town by “Murdering” the so called Indian culture that these authorities have been tying to preserve. She was lucky enough to escape the fine of Rs 50 for indulging in the activity in public I thought.

“She did not do the activity in public she just did that in the sets of the movie. That is not a public place. It so happened that it was screened in the public” was the explanation the authorities gave when asked why they let go Mallika “murder” Sherawat.

Today :

Thanks to the fat salaries youngsters are drawing today Rs 50 has become a paltry sum for them. So they don’t mind stealing a kiss (sorry for using “the word”. I could’nt use “activity” here) from their partner. They are thinking

“Lets do it. Its well and good if we don’t get caught otherwise we will pay just Rs 50”

It did not take much time for the authorities to realize that the youth has this kind of an attitude. So again in a fit to suppress this development they increased the fine from Rs 50 to Rs 500. Yes , as you might have guessed they were again successful, to some extent. Yesterday she epitomized the Indian culture at home ( in India) but now Mallika Sherawat* has taken upon herself the onus of “exposing” the Indian culture on the global stage by acting in a foreign movie. Hail mallika who is preserving the Indian culture and damn these love birds who are tarnishing it by doing the activity in public places, behind the bushes so that no one can catch them red-handed. I say they are all stupid. Why do the activity , get caught and then pay fine? Just join the movies and then therz no stopping you. You can do anything you want without being fined. I say even the moral police are not far behind. They are extremely clever. They just stand behind the love-struck couple, watch the entire activity and then they prowl on the couple to collect the fine. I feel their job is pretty cool . You get paid to watch the activity “Live”.

Tomorrow :

The moral police go a step further. They don’t even allow a married couple to indulge in the activity. So all the men ( who have only one reason to get married ;) ) see no point in getting married if they cannot even do the activity with their wife. So all men decide to remain unmarried. Well, wait a minute. Now in understand the ulterior motive of the authorities in doing all this. No marriages , no kids. Voila, superb way to control the ever exploding Indian population. Hail the authorities.



*Apologies for disappointing all the guys with the kind of images i put up.I know you must have expected some "normal" images of mallika but i did not want this blog to be rated as 18+